Hello Subscriber First Name

How are you? I mean it really, how actually are you? I care.

The fact you’re reading this newsletter means you’re curious about how we can Dream for better. And those that see the world struggling, and things being unjust (and sometimes evil), can often be the people who carry the heaviest burden of powerlessness and despair.  

But it’s important we don’t lose our hope. It’s a core principle of our TrimTabs journey together. Remember, the TrimTab is the smallest part of a ship’s navigation system but one tiny adjustment can turn a cruise liner. And it can happen at any time, it’s never too late.

We are all TrimTabs and if we focus our energy to the places that can create the biggest change, we might be surprised at how quickly things can improve.

So here’s the question I left you with last time (all previous newsletters here):

"Where in my life am I clinging to something out of attachment rather than authenticity?"

How did that feel? Anything come up for you?

The incredible work of Dr Gabor Maté has been key to my understanding of these theories.

He explores how we are born with two needs – attachment (belonging) and authenticity (to express who we are). But we can trade one for the other, for example if I feel and express what I feel, I might become disconnected from others. So we supress our gut feelings and build unhelpful belief systems. Check out this short video for a powerful explanation here.

So, with the right work, we can learn to understand and heal our parts which are simply trying to keep us safe but may no longer be serving us how we might want.

Integrating these parts can lead to us becoming more content, better leaders and more creative thinkers.

It’s a huge part of my Coaching work. Let me know if this resonates and you would like a free exploratory conversation.

Coaching can be the process to Design something different (don’t forget to check out my 4D model in previous newsletters if you’re new to TrimTabs).

So keep scrolling and you’ll see how I learned to dial up my authenticity…

I imagine this balancing of attachment and authenticity as a seesaw. When we choose one over the other, one has to drop while the other rises.

Dr Gabor explains this further when he says:

"People have two needs: Attachment and authenticity. When authenticity threatens attachment, attachment trumps authenticity."

So if we let our authenticity drop for too long, our nervous systems can feel that unease and we become triggered and ineffective. When we live in disconnection, our wise mind shuts down, our nervous system activates and we experience fear, shame and judgement. So learning to balance our internal seesaw is vital to our wellbeing.

So I do what I can to ground myself, slow down and consider how I can reclaim my power from the fear machine. And where does this power sit? It sits in the acceptance that I can’t change everything in the world but I can change how I show up.

It’s not easy and it’ll be a life’s work but it’s vital we choose love over fear. And to do that, we need to step into our intuition and connect with others.

Choose interdependence over independence.

To connect deeply with others we first need to connect with ourselves. Otherwise, our ‘masks’ might end up becoming our external personality and we may no longer recognise ourselves.

And to be comfortable with who we truly are, we need to be willing to let go, integrate and re-asses the values and beliefs we hold.

That’s been part of the journey I’ve been facilitating with my friends at You are The Media and is the theme of the Lunch Club I’m hosting next week with the theme of ‘Re-Invention’. We’re down to the last few tickets if you’d like to join us.

B Corp Month is over for another year and it was great. I loved spending time with this wonderful community and facilitating events with my fellow B Local Co-Chair, Jaimie Harris.

The events page here has details for lots of exciting upcoming events.

Here are some particular highlights for April:

• 10th April - You Are The Media ‘Re-invention’ lunch club hosted by me. Tickets here

• 24th April - People Planet Pastry at Patch hosted by me and the wonderful Karley Woodford with tickets here. The purposeful anti-networking, networking community with free pastries :)

• 24th April - ACTionism film screening and discussion following PPP. Full details to be confirmed shortly but here’s the trailer. It’s a film about the art of finding your people to take collective action. About collectively moving from passive consumers to active citizens. A story centred around doing things with others, not to others.

As you may know by now, the philosophical inspiration of this newsletter comes from the incredible work of Buckminster Fuller.

So this week’s question for reflection comes from Bucky, so have a think and we’ll unpack it next time:

"It is not for me to change you. The question is, how can I be of service to you without diminishing your degrees of freedom?

With compassion and curiosity,

Nick