Hi Subscriber First Name,

I think differently and for a long time, I tried to hide that.

I worried what people would think if they saw how my mind worked. The way I notice patterns, read between the lines and sense what's happening beneath the surface.

I didn't want to be seen as different and I didn't want people to think I was broken.

But I can now see that my lived experience is also one of my greatest strengths. And it’s actually why I was so successful in my corporate career even if I never knew that at the time.

Part of the reason I think differently? Trauma.

Even writing that word, I notice a part of me wondering what you'll think, as though admitting it somehow means I'm broken. But that's an old story and I don't believe it anymore.

I've come to see trauma as something that's widely misunderstood. Trauma isn't simply about catastrophic events, it's about how our experiences shape the way we relate to ourselves, other people and the world.

One definition that has really shaped my thinking comes from Dr Gabor Maté:

Whether we recognise that in our lives or not, those experiences often influence our beliefs, our nervous system and the strategies we develop just to get through life. Organisations aren't immune either with things like redundancies, conflict, uncertainty and loss, all leaving their mark, even if we rarely acknowledge it.

What interests me most, isn't the wound, it's what can emerge through our healing.

And that’s because trauma isn’t a gift but the healing can become one.

Whether or not you'd use the word trauma to describe your own story, I wonder what parts of yourself you've learned to hide that maybe need to see some light?

In the life I burned out from, I tried desperately to hide things like imposter syndrome, people pleasing and avoiding conflict. I'd read books, attend courses and still find myself asking, "What's wrong with me?"

I eventually realised there wasn't anything wrong with me. It's just that the soil I grew up in wasn't the same as everyone else's. Once I could offer myself enough compassion to understand my roots, before trying to change the visible parts of myself, my whole world changed.

I've been thinking about that a lot recently and it's one of the reasons I said yes to a deep conversation with the amazing Josh Connolly on his podcast.

A few years ago, I'd never have imagined talking this openly in public. Now it feels less like exposing myself and more like accepting all of who I am. It’s also opened up the trauma informed approaches to my work.

If you'd like to listen, here’s the Spotify link to the episode, although it's also available on YouTube and all the usual podcast platforms.

Upcoming Events

I’m lucky enough to be involved in some wonderful events soon. You can find the full calendar here.

And our next gathering is this:

The Natural Network at Patch

30th July: 10am - 12pm at Patch. Tickets here

This is our monthly gathering as a collaboration between The Natural Network and Patch. We're passionate about bringing people together to explore how we work, lead and do business in more sustainable, human and natural ways.

Wrapping up

We spend so much of life tending the branches that everyone else can see but real change begins underground.

Understanding our roots doesn't keep us stuck in the past, it gives us the freedom to grow differently.

I hope the conversation with Josh sparks something for you, whether it simply helps you understand yourself a little better or gives you permission to stop hiding parts of yourself that never needed hiding in the first place.

I'd love to hear what it brings up for you. As always, just hit reply, I respond to every email.

With compassion and curiosity,

Nick