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Welcome back. You might remember we left things open last week. For the first time, we let a theme stretch across two weeks because procrastination touches so many layers of our inner and outer lives.

So, let’s pick up part 2 of our exploration where we left off:

“Where in your life are you saying yes when your body is saying no?”

How did that land for you? As a recovering procrastinator and people pleaser, I see so many moments in my life where this has played out.

Building on last week’s insights, I now recognize that my procrastination worsens when my psychological and physiological worlds are out of sync.

Rationally, my mind would say:
“Hurry up, you need to get this done” or “If you avoid deciding until the last minute, you won’t have to face the discomfort” or most dangerously, “You can keep going down this path without making a decision.”

But my nervous system feels a different story:
“If you get this wrong, you will be judged and shamed.” So I sometimes put off doing what I knew was right.

That’s what led me to burning out as I was so scared of acting on what I knew, I stayed in an environment that wasn’t right for me. And when we put things off, they always have a habit of growing in scale.

I think I’ve read every book on procrastination ever written (it helped me procrastinate about what I really needed to do!). And they often give us cognitive tips to help, but that was never going to help me.

It wasn’t a laziness problem or a lack of knowledge. It was a nervous system dysregulation problem. I was looking a the wrong end of the telescope.

I was often stuck in this fight-flight-freeze state which was taking me far away from my wise mind.

I learned that if instead of pushing harder, we can listen to the signals from our body and compassionately reframe them as opportunities to adjust our approach.

This perspective is central to much of my work (understanding our internal systems and how they connect to the external systems we all navigate). It’s deeply tied to the concept of the window of tolerance, which has been pivotal in my healing, growth and work with clients.

We’re often told to work harder, faster, and push through pain. But that’s not resilience that’s toxicity.

You wouldn’t ask someone to run on a broken leg, so why ask your nervous system to keep going when it needs rest and repair?

So take a look at this model of the the window of tolerance and explore how to get ourselves into the green zone of our wise mind...

I hope that model resonates with you. If you’d like it as a hi-res PDF, please drop me a message and I’d be very happy to send you a copy.

So now that we can see this model, let’s explore how it shows up in our lives:

• The red zone is when we’re hyper-aroused and feel panic, overwhelm and craving distraction. This is where you might grab your phone to distract yourself!

• The blue zone is when we freeze, dissociate or simply want to shut down and hide away. We might want to lie on the sofa watching our trashy, guilty pleasures.

• Our goal? The green zone where we’re calm, focused, and able to do our best work, entering flow.

To help you stay in your green zone, here are 5 practical steps you can try:

1. Pause and Breathe: When you notice stress rising, take slow, deep breaths to calm your nervous system and bring yourself back to the present moment.

2. Check In with Your Body: Scan for tension, tightness, or discomfort. Acknowledge these sensations without judgment, they’re valuable signals, not enemies.

3. Name Your Emotion: Label what you’re feeling (“I’m anxious,” “I’m overwhelmed”) this helps your brain process and regulate the experience.

4. Set Gentle Boundaries: Practice saying no or asking for support when you sense your limits being tested.

5. Create Micro-Rest Moments: Build small breaks into your day—whether a walk, a stretch, or simply stepping outside—to reset your nervous system.

I’d love to know how you get on with this.

It’s time for another film screening!

I’ll be hosting a showing of ACTionism with my friends at Velo Domestique in Southbourne on 10th July at 7pm.

This 30 minute film is a powerful way of exploring the themes of active citizenship, finding our tribe and growing from joy and connection.

It features Jon Alexander and his work through his ‘Citizens’ book.

Tickets can be found here

And the trailer is here

Now that we’ve explored procrastination and how we build resilience around discomfort, it feels like the perfect time to dive into people pleasing which will be our theme for next week.

Between now and then, here’s a prompt to reflect on:

“What feelings come up for you when you think about setting a boundary or saying ‘no’ to someone? Picture who it might be and what you want to say”

And for the first time, here are some journalling prompts that might help your reflection.

Take a moment to sit with this prompt. Notice any feelings that arise - resistance, fear, relief, guilt or something else. See if you can sense where these emotions live in your body. Maybe tightness in your chest, a sinking in your stomach or a heaviness in your shoulders? Rather than pushing these sensations away, invite curiosity. What might your body be trying to tell you about your true needs and boundaries?

Journaling your thoughts and sensations can be a powerful way to uncover patterns and begin choosing what truly serves you.

I look forward to next week with compassion and curiosity,

Nick